It’s crystal clear that our performance at work is affected by events at home. Those who manage both these important parts of their lives are the only ones who will succeed.

Increasingly, we see young couples get jobs, get married and get kids…not necessarily in that order. This raises issues of “Who’s To Do What” around the house.

A young mother once told me that what irritated her the most about her husband was his habit of kicking off his shoes on returning from work, grabbing a beer and settling down in front of the TV. From his perspective, he felt he had just completed 12-14 hours of high pressure work and commute and deserved to relax.

Likewise, a young man once told me that he was totally bugged by his wife’s demand that since she was working too, he would have to get up at nights when the kids needed help. He was not to leave this task exclusively to her. He argued that her sleep being interrupted was bad enough, why spoil his too? She felt it was grossly unfair for him to sleep in comfort while she had to stagger around in the middle of the night.

The answer to these- and many other problems- lies obviously in a better understanding of each other and the contributions they can make. As we say in performance management, setting the right expectations is the key to success- so too is the case here.

Those of you wrestling with similar issues may like to read this post by Leslie Morgan Steiner in the Washington Post titled “Top 10 Tips for Equality at Home”.

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This is the 152 nd of the “A Step A Day” series : To provide perspective and provoke thought to facilitate self-development across a wide spectrum of issues- big and small- crucial for executive success