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Daily Archives: December 11, 2007

Career 100

11 Tuesday Dec 2007

Posted by Prem Rao in Blogs

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Blogs, Career advice, XLRI alumni

RiseSmart has announced their Career 100 – a listing of the world’s top English-language Career blogs. Here’s how that list was arrived at.

Heading the rankings is Penelope Trunk’s Brazen Careerist.

I am delighted to see my friend, Gautam Ghosh’s blog, Gautam Ghosh on Management ranked 24 on that list.

Gautam is an alumnus of XLRI, Jamshedpur and we XLers are proud of his achievement.

Huge amount of good advice on careers in that list, I am sure.

Why is it hard for adults to say “No”?

11 Tuesday Dec 2007

Posted by Prem Rao in Work Life Balance

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

assertiveness, personal development

My post today in the A Step A Day series was titled: Not saying “No” means “Yes”.

By co-incidence, a few hours later, I came across this article in the Washington Post which I found quite interesting. Laura Sessions Stepp asks “ Why is it hard for adults to say No?“.

A few things caught my attention: “In order to say yes to what’s truly important, you first need to say no to other things,” says William Ury, a social anthropologist by training and a professional negotiator based at Harvard Law School.

Ury who wrote ” The Power of a Positive No” this year says the significance of saying no is a recent epiphany for him. “It’s the defining challenge of our age.” he says.

Secondly, the actual word “no” — as well as “yes” — starts appearing when a child is about 18 months old, as signaling between parents and children becomes more complex.

Third, by age 15 or 16, young people possess virtually all the cognitive abilities to make good decisions that adults have, according to Baruch Fischhoff, a professor of social and decision sciences at Carnegie Mellon University.

Like adults, they must know 3 things to use those skills well:

  • what they really want as opposed to, say, what their friends want
  • what their options are
  • what will happen if they choose one option over another.

Looks like these skills are best learnt during childhood. Can they be learnt later in life? I am sure they can but it would take that much more effort and time to master.

Indian of the Year 2007

11 Tuesday Dec 2007

Posted by Prem Rao in People

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Indian of the Year, Indian soldier

Voting is on for the Life Insurance Corporation of India sponsored NDTV Indian of the Year 2007 .

Although only one person will be selected Indian of the Year, there are 31 nominees in 7 categories. The categories include Leaders ( read Politicians like Mayawati, Manmohan Singh etc), Sports personalities like Sania Mirza and M S Dhoni, Cinema stars like Rajnikant and Shah Rukh Khan, Global Indians like Indra Nooyi and Arun Sarin, Business tycoons like Mukesh Ambani and Kumaramangalam Birla, folks in Music like Sunidhi Chauhan and the Vishal-Shekar duo. Last but not the least is the category of Unsung Heroes, like the Indian Soldier.

My vote goes to the Indian Soldier. I hope you will vote for him too because he performs a very difficult and in many ways an extremely thankless task. Remember, often it is the Indian Soldier who sacrifices his life so that we can live in peace.Thanks to my friend Rohit Biddappa for pushing me to vote !

Use this link to make your choice and cast your vote.

Not saying “No” means “Yes”

11 Tuesday Dec 2007

Posted by Prem Rao in A Step A Day

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A Step A Day, assertiveness

When I started “A Step A Day” I wanted to enhance the effectiveness of the series by using anecdotes and real life examples. This, to me, is the best way to illustrate principles. However, here’s a disclaimer! While the incidents are based on real life experiences the names used in them are chosen at random and are fictitious!!
Kishore looked at his watch. It was 6.30 p.m. He had promised his fiancee that he would take her out today as it was her birthday. Just as he was logging off, his boss came by. “Hi, Kishore ” he said ” I want this report analysed. We need the analysis for tomorrow’s management meeting. Finish it by 8.00 will you. There’s a good chap”.

Kishore just stood there with hundreds of thoughts racing in his mind. Amongst many others, these thoughts flashed by:

  • This is unfair. Today is one day I simply have to go on time.
  • Why should it me all the time? Can’t some one else do this for a change?
  • Sheela will be terribly disappointed. I have promised her a big treat.

Sadly, these remained thoughts and were not vocalised into words. “Thanks” said his boss and walked off, looking for one more guy to analyze one more report.

Kishore had walked into a situation that we come across almost every day. Irrespective of the intensity of our thoughts and however valid they might be, our feelings can seldom be understood by others if they are not put into words. The human brain is the most efficient computer God ever made. It has tremendous capacity to process data. Our speed of thought is around 400-500 words per minute. Our speed of speech is around 125 words per minute.

Often we are at a loss to put across what’s in our mind. We may disagree with what the other person says. Thinking about that disagreement is not enough. However much we may curse inwardly what matters is what we finally say. If we don’t say what’s in our mind and instead maintain a silence, the other person is quite likely to take the silence as agreement.

Assume our friend, Kishore does not do the work that evening. Assume he plucks up the courage to tell his boss.” But I didn’t say “yes” or agree to do the task”. His boss is likely to point out ” I do not remember your saying “No” either.”

You can, I am sure, relate to this with many more examples from your own life. It happens at work as it does at home. It is far better to be assertive and state what’s in our mind.
In business and indeed in all walks of life, not saying ” No” means ” Yes” !

You can subscribe to this series using RSS at https://bprao.wordpress.com/category/a-step-a-day/feed

Prem Rao

Blogger: Prem Rao

Author, Book Reviewer, Coach, and Social Commentator based in Bangalore, India. View B P Rao's profile on LinkedIn
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